HBD

It began so bad it had no choice but to pick up and get better. As REM took over me I dreamt that three of my closest friends went out of town and got themselves killed. Now, in retrospect, I know I should’ve figured out it was a nightmare, some scenes in it were just too far-fetched. Like this one sequence where BJ and I were in some sort of forensic lab trying to determine if Bea, Grace, and Patrick were really dead. If the microscope slide turned blue, we knew that Friend X has bitten the dust. How very CSI. Anyhow, when I was still in it, the thing felt so real and scary. I kept thinking, I could never replace my friends. Then I wake up and for a fleeting moment think that everything was true; two seconds later consciousness hits and I heave a sigh of relief. I pick up my mobile phone (which I left on) and see that Grace has sent me the very first greeting. Everything was okay.

Nothing special happened. It’s such a bummer if you can’t celebrate because you’re broke. And my Mom wasn’t even home because she had to work, so the rest of us had to make do with whatever’s left inside the ref. But leaving all the trivial stuff aside, I was happy. Really. A bazillion text messages/Friendster messages/e-mails/chatterbox posts from friends and family, and even from those I haven’t heard from in a while. I didn’t go to Mass, but I thanked God for giving me a good life, friends and family, and for helping me get through the hard stuff (of which there is more to come, surely). She’s really been wonderful to me.

To my blockmates and friends to whom I owe a big bash: Later na, pag nagkamal na ako ng malaking pera. Harhar.

Yun lang. And my blog is alive again.

I turn twenty-two today.

And On This Day of Hearts...

...I am truly happy. I'll tell you all about it in a bit, but I have to get going now if I am to avoid the road congestion.

I am addicted to this song right now:

Shimmer
Fuel

She calls me from the cold
Just when I was low, feeling short of stable
And all that she intends
And all she keeps inside, isn't on the label
She says she's ashamed
And can she take me for awhile
And can I be a friend, we'll forget the past
But maybe I'm not able
And I break at the bend
We're here and now, but will we ever be again
'Cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade
Away again
She dreams a champagne dream
Strawberry surprise, pink linen and white paper
Lavender and cream
Fields of butterflies, reality escapes her
She says that love is for fools who fall behind
And I'm somewhere in between
I never really know
A killer from a savior
'Til I break at the bend
It's too far away for me to hold
It's too far away...
Guess I'll let it go

Motion Picture Adventures

What is it about my profile that allows others to recognize me in near pitch-black?

It was Thursday afternoon at the MSI, and a late experiment almost caused me to miss the screening of Before Sunrise at the UP Film Institute. By some stroke of luck I was able to get out of my responsibility and instantly trooped over to the university moviehouse. I was going to text Bea the minute I found a seat, but I guess her thumbs were quicker. Her text message read: “Am I just hallucinating or did you just walk into the UPFI? I recognized your outline.” What the…? I called her immediately and we spent the next few minutes groping for each other in the dark (why does that sound sleazy). When we finally found each other we plopped into the nearest empty seats and giggled. Almost twenty-four hours later I enter the UPFI again, this time with K-Ann, to watch Before Sunset. It wasn’t hard to find seats, unlike yesterday’s screening, which was free admission. We found a half-empty row and began to settle in, all the while chatting. Suddenly, someone three seats to my left hails me: “Hoy, Fadul, ikaw ba ‘yan?” I respond to the affirmative. It was my high school batchmate Jacq Romero, with some of her friends. I was flabbergasted. I start to wonder if I exude a characteristic smell.

To stray a bit from the topic: I liked all three movies I watched this week. Before Sunrise and Before Sunset were heartwarming, quaint movies with exceptional screenplays. The films ran on, well, good dialogue. It’s like eavesdropping on two regular people when they unintentionally meet and connect. And somehow you never get tired of the tête-à-tête, even I with my short attention span. (To Bea, Grace, and Patrick: I'm sorry I singlehandedly prevented us from watching Before Sunset that night. I was just really turned off by the tag line. Now I know it’s my folly; I beat my breast, mea culpa.) And Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was just brilliant filmmaking. Beatriz, we should've held hands, if only to approximate that feeling.

And I just had to put this:

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd.